"Horrific surgery on my arm"

About: Calvary Public Hospital Bruce Canberra Hospital / Trauma & orthopaedics

(as the patient),

In late 2017 I noticed a swelling in the muscle of my left forearm.  Scans showed that it was a golf-ball sized tumour between the radius and ulna. In early 2018 the lump was removed by a doctor at Calvary Hospital and found to be a myxolipoma.  I was left with good strength but limited function of my left hand. The scar was on the outer edge of my forearm and was about 12 cms long.  It didn't look very obvious.  There was a very long wait for nerve conduction studies in the Public Hospital system so I had them done privately and they showed that the surgeon had partially severed my nerve to my hand.

A couple of months later I was sent to the Neurology Outpatients Clinic at The Canberra Hospital. The doctor I saw there said I had a small window of opportunity to correct the nerve damage.  He said the previous scar would be made slightly longer and that several other smaller cuts might have to be made to find where the nerve had been damaged.  At the worst, he said they might have to take small amounts of nerve and tendon from my leg to improve the function of my hand.

Following my surgery a month later, when I woke up I found I had a z shaped scar nearly all the way from my armpit to my wrist! It looks disgusting and I wish I was dead.  My hand works less well than before the surgery.

The surgeon (I believe it turned out not to be the doctor I saw at the Outpatients Clinic, but a different doctor) could only say that if my hand doesn't improve then they can start hacking up my leg for spare parts.  I feel like a failed laboratory experiment, a piece of meat his trainee students got to practice on. 

Who can I talk to to get honest feedback?  How can I ever trust doctors again? I don't want to be alive anymore.  I believe I have been deceived and mutilated. I can't care for myself at home - not even take myself to the toilet.  

Please ask the doctor to talk to me about the horrific life I am now expected to lead.

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