"Drug addiction"

About: Headspace Southport Lives Lived Well

(as a service user),

I started using drugs at a really young age, using Marijuana at 13 which I did in school. I was always skipping school to go and smoke pot and cigarettes, then I started drinking alcohol. The first time I drunk alcohol I was completely out of control. I didn't know what I was doing, I threw up everywhere for a good hour. Following that I started using Ecstasy at parties and just in general to get high, then started using Speed, which led to Heroin use, which was another story altogether.

I loved these drugs, they made me feel complete, I had no care in the world while I was on them but then when I'd come down I would be an emotional wreck. I experienced chronic depression, severe anxiety, suicidal thoughts and when addicted to Heroin, I would physically need it to get through the day. I would do anything to get it, I was sick all the time not just from the Heroin but from using Speed as well on top of it. My mind was a wreck, as well as my body. Next, I found the drug famously known as Ice, which completely took over my mental state of being. This drug made me feel like I was on top of the world, like I could do anything. I felt like this was how I was supposed to feel in my life. Like I finally found the ultimate feeling, but this did not last long. I would be high for days, no sleep, no food, not even a glass of water for days on end, then I would come down and turn into the devil. I would abuse my parents, push any friends I had away, stay in my house for days, because I couldn't face the world without it. I would be so emotionally and physically broken, that I felt like life wasn't worth living.

I was also on the Suboxone Program from the age of 18 to 22, which was 4 years of hell. I couldn't survive just one single day without this drug, it was worse than being on Heroin. I had to go to the chemist every morning when I woke up otherwise I wouldn't be able to do normal everyday things. I couldn't even eat if I didn't have my Suboxone. Everyday was a struggle. I was so dependent on this drug that I felt there was no hope for me to come off it. But eventually I got so bad in my addiction with Ice, alcohol and other drugs, including Suboxone, I eventually hit rock bottom and got kicked out of home and had nowhere to stay. I got a chance to come off the Suboxone. They gave me Valium to replace when I was coming off it, but that didn't help. I still continued to use Ice, Methadone and any other drugs I could get my hands on to take my mind off the withdrawals from the Suboxone. I eventually got so bad that I had nowhere to go and I booked myself into rehab and was lucky enough to be admitted straight away. Something was looking out for me I think, because usually you have to be clean for 2 weeks, I wasn't even clean 1 day and they let me in. So I was very grateful for that and very lucky I think to have that happen to me.

Now I have been here 4 months, one week and two days, and I feel great, I have had some really good times in here, a lot of ups and downs, but I feel better than I ever have in my whole life. During this time through my addiction which I forgot to mention earlier, I was engaged with the Youth Outreach Program from Lives Lived Well and Headspace Early Psychosis Program. They guided me through my addiction and helped me along the way with my recovery and if it wasn't for them I may have never found recovery, because once upon a time I never knew what recovery was. So I owe a lot to these guys and their support and I could not have done it without them. I really recommend to people if you have a drug or alcohol problem that is unmanageable, to seek help and get the support you need because it is worth it 100 percent. Thank you for reading.

Responses

Response from Joel Porter, Associate Clinical Director, Lives Lived Well

picture of Joel Porter

HI Addiction recovery,

On behalf Lives Lived Well, thank you for writing that inspirational story. We are honored to have played a role in your recovery.

Please take care and let us know if we can do anything else for you.

Sincerely,

Joel

  • {{helpful}} {{helpful == 1 ? "person thinks" : "people think"}} this response is helpful

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